Today she is 12 lbs 6 oz and still holding that head up!
Her birth started with the end of a scrabble game. I couldn't do much during those last few days and so Henry and I discovered scrabble on our iPhones. Henry had just beat me when I thought I might have felt false labour pains again - as the night waned, we realized that Baby Knight had finally decided to come! The next morning I we told our mothers who were both staying with us. 10am my water broke and by 3 pm after bouncing on my big red ball for half the day we decided to go to the hospital. Birthing seemed as smooth as icecream up to this point.
However, once there, nothing went as hoped. Except the one thing that mattered. I wasn't able to get a birthing tub and the nurse stated they weren't getting a consistant reading on the baby's heart rate and I was confined to the bed. When I came to the hospital I had already dialated 5 cm. by the time I was wealed to the birthing room I had dialated 7cm. However later I was told I wasn't labouring fast enough and the midwife gave me pitosin without our concent. Henry noted at one point that the baby's heart rate didn't even make sense and asked if it was working properly. The nurse ignored his questions but later discovered the monitor was in fact not working. Eventually they wanted me to get an epidural. And after failed protests we agreed. Henry had to step out at this point for hygienic purposes and as soon as I was injected, my own blood pressure dropped dangerously low. It seemed like 20 people entered the room at once - all except the midwife and Henry. People were shouting orders and I had no idea what was going on. I asked for Henry but no one went to get him. Words of a c-section echoed in the blurry walls of my brain and I felt nothing except tears. I wanted Henry and i wanted my baby safe. I was floating and I was alone amongst shouting strangers. The midwife came in and began shouting. Then people slowly left. And Henry came back. He had been notified of nothing. Thankfully I did not need a c-section and I guess everything had stabilized. After all that - it was time to push.
I braced in the numbness against Henry and in 30 minutes, Melva Lynn was born. That was all that mattered. She was safe.
Henry and I were disappointed at how things went. But I recently heard a story of how a perfectly healthy mother lost a perfectly healthy 8lb baby for no known reason during labour. After hearing the story, I became extremely grateful that we made it through.
I gave you the many wasn'ts and didn'ts side of the story. A choice. Just like other life happenings we can always choose to portray the good or the bad. Sometimes it is ok to portray the bad - to share with others a common experience. Or as a way to work through the disappointment in order to be able to see the good. Sometimes sharing the bad has no good purpose however. Knowing what to share and how is a skill. One that I am working on. In the mean time, I am reminded of the verse from the Bible
28And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to his purpose. I hope God will use my birth story eventually for the good...
I dont want to connect the word blessed immediately with what the world calls good because the Bible talks about people being blessed when they are poor in spirit. But I have been given a gift.
I don't know why God gave me little Melva, but I feel so very overwhelmed by this gift and challenged by this new task of sharing Gods love with her.
And what a task! Who knew I could find boogers so cute and poop that didn't stink or gross me out! And her smiles! She tends to smile most often after I change her diaper and I like to think that it is her way of telling me thank you. She babbles on and on about things too. Henry seems to have found a new love. His smile when he plays with Melva is well...something very special.
So here we all are. One happy family. Embarking on yet another adventure.
